The Winning Pie | A Short Story

For 4-H this year, one project I signed up for is creative writing. (Big shock, I know.) Yesterday, I did an exercise in the project book, which was to write a short story with specific words. I didn’t really have any idea where I was going with it, so the end was a surprise to me too! Let me know your thoughts and critiques in the comments!

The judge savored each mouthful, pondered, scribbled, and moved to the next entry. Seated on the road of folding chairs behind him were the contestants, each anticipating the judge’s approbation of his pie. Bakers had agonized over the choice of flavors, the ratio of ingredients, and the ornate design atop their creations.

What does that face mean?

Whose is he spending so long on?

Does mine have a soggy bottom?

Anxious thoughts flitted through the contestants’ minds. For one baker, the strain was too overwhelming, and she crumpled in a dead faint. Everyone flocked to her except the methodical judge, who didn’t want to lose his train of thought. Before anyone could aid the unconscious woman, the judge leapt from the table and announced, “I have chosen a victor!”

“Who?”

“Which one?”

“Is it mine?”

With an authoritative glare, the judge silenced the clamor.

“The blue ribbon belongs to…” He paused, for dramatic effect. “Susanna MacGinn with her exquisite dark chocolate grapefruit masterpiece!”

Beaming, the judge surveyed the now deadpan crowd. “Ms. MacGinn? Where is she?”

“Does anyone know who she is?”

Everyone began wandering through the county fair, searching for Susanna MacGinn. All alone in the pie judging tent, resting peacefully on the ground, was Susanna.

Any suggestions for me? What did you think?

Thank you for reading!

15 thoughts on “The Winning Pie | A Short Story

  1. It is great. Very creative with a unexpected twist. Well done. 🙂 I don’t know if I was reading something wrong and I dislike pointing out something because I am sure it’s me and not worded incorrectly but this sentence, “Doors mine have a soggy bottom?” Was that suppose to be “Does mine have…”?

    Liked by 1 person

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